I arrived on Monday night back home in Syvilla. It was already dark and I…
Two years and no videos
| I want to share with you what happened when I decided that I don’t want to force myself to do things I don’t want to do. I have not recorded any YouTube videos for the past two years until I did one a few weeks back and one in Lanzarote too. I turned something I really enjoyed into a should, into a work. Heavy. At first I did not prepare much: I recorded a video about a topic I felt a calling to talk about. Most times I liked what I said. I found myself to be real. I was not looking at the camera. I made an improvement: looking into the camera. To me that seemed more personal and approachable. I also got a tripod and microphone. For a while I enjoyed an improved quality of my videos. I started to make more effort to have good lighting and a variety of backgrounds. I started to prepare my videos. I made bullet points of what I want to say. Some time after that I started to do research of each topic I want to talk about and I started to include some points of research or authorities in the field. Shooting a video started to become a longer event. From taking maybe 10-15 minutes one video started to take an hour or more to make. That felt like work. Heavy. The joy and lightness and fun of speaking was gone. I started to dread making videos. I had my tripod and microphone with me in Amsterdam, in the cabins and other journeys – and more and more seldom I recorded anything, In the meantime we started to get more subscribers to our Youtube channel Honesty Europe. By then we had almost 100 different videos available. I decided to stop recording videos. Even they were a good way to get a word out about us. It did not seem worth the hassle. I had stopped following my general principle to do mainly what I enjoy doing and doing very little what I don’t like doing. I decided that I will record a video when I feel like it. When it is calling me. When I notice joy thinking about taking in front if a camera. I am glad of this break. When I felt like recording a video I did not force myself. I did feel a bit rusty and out of words. I think the video was less smooth than many other videos I have recorded. And I was real. Most likely I will keep talking in front of a camera and posting videos. And I will only do it when I feel like it. I want to operate from a want rather than a must. I think most of us have far many “musts” and “shoulds” in our lives. I am not interested in adding more to mine. I want to stay awake and alert not to turn my wishes and fun stuff into shoulds. And I want the same for you. ❤️ Love, Tuulia PS: The 8-Day Intensive in Parkano in 16-24 May has three more spots! And the 8-Day Intensive in Mallorca 1-9 October has eight more spots! Note also newly announced 8-Day Intensive in Tenerife in March 2024! This is our first time in Northern Tenerife in a lovely traditional Canarian finca with mountain views and walking tracks starting from our backyard. |
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